LYH13: Is Your Church Losing Your Family? [Podcast]


Show Agenda

  • Spotlight Segment: Joe Beam, Marriage Helper
  • Featured Presentation: Is Your Church Losing Your Family?

Spotlight: Features an organization that is doing excellent things to impact families

Spotlight: Joe Beam, Author, Speaker


Featured Presentation

Check out my blog post on this topic HERE.

How can you raise your children to be among the 40% that have a sustainable Christian faith? Yes, only 40%. How does your marriage thrive among a cacophony of stressors?  The answer to each of these questions for many of us is rooted in a common denominator—the church.

The statistics are staggering.

Earlier this year, the Barna group, a research firm, reported “although church involvement was once a cornerstone of American life, U.S. adults today are evenly divided on the importance of attending church.” Data show that a slight majority (51%) of Americans believe that church attendance isn’t very important. Further analysis shows that among Americans under age 30, the results are even more staggering. Only 20% of these so called “Millennials” value church attendance.

After spending a lifetime in the church and many thousands of hours serving congregations—trying to follow what I discern as God’s path for me, I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem we’re facing is that churches are NOT family-friendly. Yes, its a generalization. But, I believe it to be true for most churches.

What do I mean when I say they are not “family friendly”?

Here is what I believe are the ten most common “family” problems areas plaguing most churches (in descending order of importance in my opinion).

  • Pastors and church leaders are not trained in relationship education (I was shocked during my seminary days to learn that a Master’s of Divinity curriculum only required one class in relational counseling)
  • Pastors’ and ministry leaders’ home life is in disarray (in one large survey, 77% of pastors felt that they don’t have a good marriage)
  • Relationship education is rare (according to the Fragile Families and Well-being Study)
  • Family-related outcomes (e.g., % married, incidence of teen pregnancy, education achievements) are not measured as barometers of church health
  • Biblical teachings are not well translated into contemporary practice—especially for children, youth, and young adults
  • Blended family dynamics are rarely addressed—though they represent the “new normal” family constellation
  • Only 18% of churches nationally have marriage and family ministries—among Black churches this precipitously drops to 3% (according to the National Congregations Study)
  • Church does not feel like a safe place to be relationally sick
  • Singles feel left out—especially single parents
  • Programming is not multi-generational (bringing together several generations in activities that appeal to each

Each of us has to demand more of our church. Be more vocal with what we need. I’ve developed a 12-point “Family-friendly Assessment” that you can use to gauge what you should expect of your church. We have to stop accepting mediocrity when it comes to our families.

Click HERE to see 10 Steps to grow your church’s family culture.

The stakes have never been higher for your family or mine. Great leaders are forged in times of crisis. Family life is in crisis. The relevance of church is reaching a crisis point in our culture. The future of families and churches are intricately interlocked. Who will lead this transformation? It has to be you.

I would love to hear your thoughts about your church and what it is doing to promote healthy families. Take a copy of the 12-point “Family-Friendly Church” assessment to your church leadership. Hold them accountable to it.

Please leave a rating and/or review on iTunes will tremendously help me.

Please leave a rating and/or review on iTunes will tremendously help me.