Tag Archives: avoid divorce

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LYH27: 10 Unspoken Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

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Featured Presentation: 10 Unspoken Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/unspokenwishes

We husbands often don’t talk to our wives about our wishes. So, to help out both us husbands and our bewildered wives, I’d like to propose 10 things that we husbands wish our wives would do—even though we may never actually ask for them.

10 (Unspoken) Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

  • Wish #1: Give him a foot rub
  • Wish #2: Take a shower (or bubble bath) together
  • Wish #3: Tell him he looks good
  • Wish #4: Affirm his leadership of the family
  • Wish #5: Express gratitude for the provision that he makes for the family
  • Wish #6: Show him that you’re his biggest fan
  • Wish #7: Tell him that you’d marry him all over again
  • Wish #8: Tell him you trust him with your future
  • Wish #9: You’re ready to tackle your finances as a team
  • Wish #10: Encourage his lovemaking

So, there are my 10 unspoken things that I believe wives can do for their husbands. I’m sure that some of you wives are questioning why or how you should encourage your husband in an area if he doesn’t seem to be making sufficient effort in any one particular area. This is a great point.

But, sometimes, it is important to encourage that which you don’t see yet. The key is to affirm the baby steps. Even if there are really small ones. In many instances, if you sincerely encourage the small things, you will begin to see bigger things.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts about these ten thoughts. Are they spoken or unspoken in your marriage? Leave a comment and let me know.

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10 Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do, But Would Probably Never Ask

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We husbands are a funny bunch. In some ways we are paragons of contradiction.  Some of us have a tough exterior but are soft in the middle.  Others say few words but no shortage of opinions. Still others never talk about feelings but wear them on our sleeves. It is no surprise then that our wives often wonder what in the world is going through our minds. But, since many of us don’t really share what is going through our mind, our wives are often left in bewilderment. They feel like outsiders yearning to get closer to us but not knowing how to do it. This post is for those wives who wish for a little glimpse into their husbands’ head. Here are ten things that your husband probably wishes you would do. But, here’s the kicker. He probably will never ask.

I admit. For many of us, it is hard to get in our heads because sometimes we don’t even understand what we’re thinking. Until we figure it out, we may not talk too much about it. And, even then, only in bite size pieces. Even then, only if we feel it is safe to do so. Yes, we husbands are funny like that sometimes.

Why is it so hard for us husbands to ask for what we want? That’s a tricky question. But, it is usually one of five reasons:

  • We’ve been socialized to believe that real men don’t ask for such things.
  • We don’t feel safe enough in the relationship.
  • Makes us too vulnerable
  • It seems too trivial
  • Fear of rejection

So, to help out both us husbands and our bewildered wives, I’d like to propose 10 things that we husbands wish our wives would do—even though we may never actually ask for them.

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LYH18: How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap [Podcast]

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Show Agenda

  • Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference
  • Featured Presentation: How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap

Featured Presentation

Here is the Christian Writer’s Conference that I’ve attended for the past five years, Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference

Click HERE to read the full blog on this topic.

What is the 50-50 trap?

When you assume that you can develop emotionally satisfying relationships by meeting the other party halfway you’ve fallen for the 50-50 trap. When you expect that you can reach mutual goals by going halfway you’ve fallen for the 50-50 trap. In sum, the 50-50 trap is the erroneous belief that you can reach 100% of your interpersonal goals by each party contributing equally.

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How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap

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One of the life lessons that we learn as early as kindergarten is the importance of sharing and compromise. While most young children have a very self-centered perspective, the process of teaching them to  be more considerate of others around them is understandably seen as a key developmental task. The adage goes that having good interpersonal relationships is about 50-50, meeting others “halfway”. Your responsibility is to do your part and expect the other party to reciprocate in kind. Makes perfect sense—until you grow up.

Relationships are a struggle—especially intimate ones. While they can elevate our feelings to mountaintop experiences they can also plummet them into undesirable lows. There are many reasons for the ups and downs in intimate relationships. But, clearly one is what I call the 50-50 trap.