LYH96: How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

Marriage in MOTION

Show Agenda

  • Featured Presentation: How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

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Faith in Focus: Salt and Light

(2 Thessalonians 3:11-13)
“We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.”

Featured Presentation:How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

All marriages are in MOTION. Each couple determines which of four types of motion for their marriage and we use a boating metaphor to explain each.

  • Crazy Growth – You are Sailing as a couple. You are in sync and growing. Communication and decision-making are good most of the time. Love feels easy.
  • Slow Growth – You are Rowing as a couple. Things are positive and moving forward. But, it takes deliberate work to make it happen. Things feel good but they don’t feel easy.
  • Slow Decline – You are Drifting as a couple. You feel like you are married living single much of the time. There is a lack of deliberate attention to becoming better as a couple. Things aren’t horrible but you feel like you are pulling away from each other. Intimacy is strained.
  • Crazy Decline – You are Sinking as a couple. Your marriage is on the way to emotional and/or physical separation. Very little, if anything, is going well. Everything feels strained.
 Achieving and maintaining Crazy Growth requires that you focus on six areas as a couple.
  • M – MOTIVE
  • O – Others
  • N – NOW

Feel free to leave me a voicemail message with any questions or concerns by going to and clicking “Send Voicemail” on the right side of the screen.

Get your FREE copy of the 10 Proven Steps to Extraordinary Influence at

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LYH72: How to be a High Impact Leader Everywhere that Matters

How to be a high impact leader

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

Five Steps to Being a High Impact Leader

  1. Find your place of rest (think noun not verb)
  2. Always be truthful
  3. Embrace the unseen (renounce the seen)
  4. Prioritize people (impact) over payoff (look 360 degrees)
  5. Take a multigenerational perspective (it’s about legacy)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these five steps. Which one most resonates with you?

Get your FREE copy of the “10 Proven Steps to Extraordinary Influence” at

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

The Posture of Influence

Stroll down the aisles of any of the few remaining bookstore and you will see a litany of books on leadership. Some will address the personality of a leader. Others will offer leadership development processes. Many of these works are extremely important to understand how to wield influence in the workplace, ministry, and community settings. Without effective leadership, goals are rarely achieved. We get it. The question, however, remains as to why with all of this focus on leadership development that we end up with some many ineffective organizations.  I would like to suggest these institutions were bereft of an effective leadership posture. Without it,  ethical lapses are a predictable eventuality.

There are plenty of examples  of leadership lapses in corporate, faith-based, and not-for-profit settings. We can certainly blame several factors for the scandals, exploitation, and greed from Enron to Bear Sterns to the United States Congress.

I have written before on the notion of posture in advancing our spiritual purposes on earth. Check that post out HERE. In this post, I talk about how my first visit to a chiropractor enlightened me about the consequences of poor posture.

I have thought a lot about posture since then, particularly as it pertains to leadership and influence.

Like the chiropractor teaching me to improve my posture through proper shoulder and head placement, improved posture in leadership is about proper placement as well. It requires proper placement of one’s ego, self-centeredness, and motivations.

I’d like to suggest three domains where it is vital that we have a leadership posture to have the great influence for which we exist.

How To Elevate Your Life with a “Smarter Yes”

We live in a noisy world. Everywhere you turn there it is. Noise vying for your attention. Noise at home as the spouse and children place demands on you. Noise at work as the co-workers and supervisors push you to the brink. Noise at church as ministry commitments progressively encroach on your discretionary time. You want to be great at home, work, church, and in your community commitments. But, it feels overwhelming. You thought it was just going to be for a season. But, one season just rolls into another one. Now, you’re burning out physically and emotionally. You feel depleted—not sure how much longer you can keep going. People think you’re superhuman. But, you know you need better boundaries. It’s hard though because it’s hard to say ‘No’ out of a visceral fear of what might be lost. Your answer may simply lie in learning a smarter yes.

The noise is a direct outgrowth of our busyness. Busyness has been, in fact, the status symbol of the 21st century—particularly among the baby boom generation. We wear it like a badge of honor. We behave as if the person with the busiest calendar must be the most important—the most valued. My calendar is fuller than yours—with each engagement feeling like an affirmation to our ego or bank account.

You can see it even in our standard greetings as we add ‘…just crazy busy’ to whatever status we report. Despite the fatigue we may feel physically, our minds tell us that to be busy is to be needed and important. We feel like our life is counting for something. So, we live in this ironic conundrum—pursuing busyness while seeking shelter from the noise.

Yes, I’m guilty!

My Vegetarian Breakthrough: 12 Months, 12 Lessons, 1 Answer (Part I)

I never wanted to be a vegetarian. After all, I wore my love for meat as a badge of honor—like most Southern boys do. But, desperation causes one to do uncommon things. For several years, I had wanted more clarity of direction, more reach for my voice, and more open doors for my passions. I read. I prayed. I cried. Yes, there were some successes. But, my breakthrough always felt just out of reach. I was getting desperate. It’s cliche but “desperate times do call for desperate measures”. Challenged by a message I heard at a retreat, I went back to God once more. But, this time with a passionate plea—reminiscent of the biblical account of Jacob. I prayed, “God, I will not eat meat again until I receive my breakthrough.” And, so with both desperation and resolution my journey began.

Finding Your purpose

It was the last day of a marriage retreat in Montego Bay, Jamaica at which my wife Dalia and I were one of several presenters. The final presenter, Pastor Jamal Bernard, issued an impassioned challenge to all of us, “How desperate are you?”

Though this question was a challenge to examine our marriages more deeply. It also evoked a strong, visceral response within me about my passion portfolio—my purpose for being in this world. Tired of feeling as if my options were limited, I internalized this challenge as a personal call to action.

For years, I felt dissatisfied with the trajectory of pursuing what I was built to do. But, now I felt I was at a psychological and emotional impasse. The time for change was now. But, only if God would show me the way. During my trip back home from Jamaica, I began to sense my response. A way for me to lean in to God and focus on hearing his voice. I felt called to a what is called a “fast”—a biblical tradition of consecrating oneself by sacrificing elements of one’s regular diet. For me, the message felt clear. Give up what you like most—meat. All of it. Yes, even fish/seafood. So, on August 19, 2013 it began with a simple prayer to God, “Please show me my breakthrough“.

It is hard to believe that it has been twelve months. But, here I am. Just as a knew it was time to begin the fast, I knew it was time to end it. My simple prayer was answered—though not in the way that I had expected. Over these twelve months as a vegetarian, I learned twelve seminal lessons about my vision, my voice, and my value.

I believe, in fact, that these twelve lessons are, in many ways, critical for anyone wanting their life to reach that next level of influence.  Is that you?

Over the next two blog posts, I will be sharing these twelve lessons with you—six lessons at a time. The first six lessons for breakthrough influence focus on my personal development  while the final six lessons hone in on my practices to embrace.