Tag Archives: better marriage

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The Listen Habit

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When you think of the greatest leadership development organizations in the country of what do you think? You might be tempted to name a company like Google that has re-defined what it means to search the Internet and is known for their out of the box thinking. Maybe a company like Apple will come to mind as you marvel at the steady stream of blockbuster devices they have engineered. Still others might think of the U.S military with its world-class training to prepare our troops for optimal performance. All of these, of course, are excellent organizations with proven leadership programs. However, none of them compare to the greatest place for leadership development in the world—your home. Family is supposed to be the training ground that equips you with the relational skills, character, and affirmation that you need for success in life. Developing this culture in your home demands one skill above all else. This is the ability to create a listening atmosphere in your home.

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Marital Intimacy 2.0: Finding God Between the Sheets

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Over the past several years, I have spoken and taught thousands of couples about the importance of growing their marriage into the purpose for which it was designed. I have challenged them to embrace their differences as integral to their destiny. I have encouraged couples to resist the marital drift that will rob them of their vitality as a couple. And, I have done my best to push couples to believe that godly obedience would yield benefits in all facets of their marriage—including their intimacy. But, this past weekend I got a new revelation on marital intimacy. I call it Marital Intimacy 2.0. And, I think it may change everything inside and outside my bedroom.

Marital Intimacy 2.0

 

So, let me first make it clear that I have a great marriage. And, I tremendously enjoy my intimate times with my wife. She has been a amazing partner over our nearly twenty-seven years of marriage. We make ourselves available for each other. We seek to please each other’s intimacy needs—though honestly I feel she sometimes does that better than I do. But, that’s another story. The key point here is that I feel very blessed with what happens in our bedroom.

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LYH45: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

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Married on Purpose
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  • Featured Presentation: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/marriedonpurpose

Are you married on purpose?

It isn’t just about raising children well, accumulating material things, or even feeling happy. These are all aspects of being married. But, they aren’t the ultimate WHY God brought you and your spouse together.

In my work with couples and in my own marriage of more than twenty-six years, I have discovered seven signs that suggest your marriage is purposeful.

 

Seven Signs of a Purposeful Marriage

  1. Sign #1: Being married on purpose is an act of grace
  2. Sign #2: Being married on purpose is to tolerate the rationale and serve the relational
  3. Sign #3: Being married on purpose is to cultivate what God planted in your spouse
  4. Sign #4: Being married on purpose is to look inwardly and respond outwardly
  5. Sign #5: Being married on purpose is to unite your passions as a kingdom offering
  6. Sign #6: Being married on purpose is to accept that material things will never give your marriage meaning
  7. Sign # 7: Being married on purpose is to prioritize intimacy as an act of worship

I wish you God’s blessings as you embark upon demonstrating these signs in your own marriage. Leave me a comment and let me know which one resonates most for you personally.

What is easy and hard in being married on purpose?

Check out the blog post HERE to read more about this.

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

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How to Know if You’re Married on Purpose

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Are you married on purpose?

You may think of your children, having imagined finding your purpose in raising kids well as invested, partnered parents.

For some, purpose conjures images of artifacts — the diamond ring, the house, the hotel receipt from the 15th anniversary trip to Hawaii — that in our culture are indicators of marital success.

Some respond to the purpose question according to the level of emotional and sexual satisfaction they feel, at a given moment.

For all their merit, each of these falls short of the beauty found in purpose.

Being married on purpose is a daily decision to live in partnership and covenant. God has anointed your marriage to “good works” that are unique to your partnership. In my work with couples and in my own marriage of more than twenty-six years, I have discovered seven signs that suggest your marriage is purposeful. 

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LYH37: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What?

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  • Featured Presentation: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/nomatterwhat

During a recent presentation to a group of couples, one of the participants questioned my assertion that we could love our spouse “no matter what”.  Admittedly, it is a bold statement. His concern was that “no matter what” sets a spouse up for abuse. While I agree with the possibility of this extreme, I countered that my concern is that we have watered down this “no matter what” extreme to something more akin to “if I’m not happy”.

If we’re not happy then we have a difficult time believing that God could be. But, what if God isn’t wedded to our personal standard of happiness?

Three Keys to Have a No Matter What Marriage

  1. Keep Facing One Another (no matter what). You are most likely to move in the direction that you are already facing. Frustrated couples often look outside of their marriage for answers to their emotional needs. Then, as difficulties push them, it is only natural that they move towards that which meets their need rather than towards the spouse. Spouses who make a decision to satisfy their emotional needs (especially romantic ones) only within the confines of their marriage satisfy the fundamental requisite of unconditional commitment.
  2. Communicate Honestly (no matter what). Effective communication is the glue that binds marriage. Conveying your needs, wants and feelings with your spouse, even in stressful situations, creates unity. Always remember that the complementary aspect of communicating honestly is listening actively. Active listening relies more on your heart than your ears.
  3. Encourage Each Other (no matter what). Many couples fail to encourage one another either because they do not think it is needed or because of their own insecurities and shortcomings. God, however, placed you and your spouse together to shape each other into His likeness. Encouragement soothes the pain of this molding process. Encouragement provides validation and legitimacy in discouraging and distressing circumstances. Look at how God offers you encouragement in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I doubt there is any clearer model of “no matter what”.

Leave a comment and let me know if you feel “no matter what” is too extreme a position to state in marriage.

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.