LYH45: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

Married on Purpose
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  • Featured Presentation: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/marriedonpurpose

Are you married on purpose?

It isn’t just about raising children well, accumulating material things, or even feeling happy. These are all aspects of being married. But, they aren’t the ultimate WHY God brought you and your spouse together.

In my work with couples and in my own marriage of more than twenty-six years, I have discovered seven signs that suggest your marriage is purposeful.

 

Seven Signs of a Purposeful Marriage

  1. Sign #1: Being married on purpose is an act of grace
  2. Sign #2: Being married on purpose is to tolerate the rationale and serve the relational
  3. Sign #3: Being married on purpose is to cultivate what God planted in your spouse
  4. Sign #4: Being married on purpose is to look inwardly and respond outwardly
  5. Sign #5: Being married on purpose is to unite your passions as a kingdom offering
  6. Sign #6: Being married on purpose is to accept that material things will never give your marriage meaning
  7. Sign # 7: Being married on purpose is to prioritize intimacy as an act of worship

I wish you God’s blessings as you embark upon demonstrating these signs in your own marriage. Leave me a comment and let me know which one resonates most for you personally.

What is easy and hard in being married on purpose?

Check out the blog post HERE to read more about this.

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LYH27: 10 Unspoken Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

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Featured Presentation: 10 Unspoken Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/unspokenwishes

We husbands often don’t talk to our wives about our wishes. So, to help out both us husbands and our bewildered wives, I’d like to propose 10 things that we husbands wish our wives would do—even though we may never actually ask for them.

10 (Unspoken) Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Would Do

  • Wish #1: Give him a foot rub
  • Wish #2: Take a shower (or bubble bath) together
  • Wish #3: Tell him he looks good
  • Wish #4: Affirm his leadership of the family
  • Wish #5: Express gratitude for the provision that he makes for the family
  • Wish #6: Show him that you’re his biggest fan
  • Wish #7: Tell him that you’d marry him all over again
  • Wish #8: Tell him you trust him with your future
  • Wish #9: You’re ready to tackle your finances as a team
  • Wish #10: Encourage his lovemaking

So, there are my 10 unspoken things that I believe wives can do for their husbands. I’m sure that some of you wives are questioning why or how you should encourage your husband in an area if he doesn’t seem to be making sufficient effort in any one particular area. This is a great point.

But, sometimes, it is important to encourage that which you don’t see yet. The key is to affirm the baby steps. Even if there are really small ones. In many instances, if you sincerely encourage the small things, you will begin to see bigger things.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts about these ten thoughts. Are they spoken or unspoken in your marriage? Leave a comment and let me know.

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Five Steps to Maximize Your Relational Footprint

Here’s a riddle for you? What do carbon emissions and marriage have in common?

The answer…they both leave a footprint, one that will outlast your years here on earth. In a real sense, footprints are what each of us leaves behind when we move on. Whether positive or negative it is our legacy, an indelible reminder that we were there.

Scientists increasingly admonish us to be more considerate of the impact that our individual behaviors (e.g., electricity usage, transportation emissions, and waste management) have on the health of our planet. Though I admittedly feel as if some of their worries are overblown, there is no question that we humans have to become more responsible for our carbon footprint–our impact on the earth for future generations.The premise of course is that our responsibility is to leave as small a carbon footprint as possible in order to preserve our earthly home for future generations.

However, as I listened to one of these environmental debates, I began to think about the imprint that we leave in other domains as well–particularly in relational areas.

I wonder what is my relational footprint? In other words, what impact are my marriage, parenting, and friendships having on people that I know as well as those whom I will never meet now or in the future. Contrary to the interest in minimizing one’s carbon footprint, the objective is to leave as large a relational footprint as possible in order to positively influence individuals and communities for future generations.

LYH18: How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap [Podcast]

Hope for marriage
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Show Agenda

  • Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference
  • Featured Presentation: How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap

Featured Presentation

Here is the Christian Writer’s Conference that I’ve attended for the past five years, Greater Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference

Click HERE to read the full blog on this topic.

What is the 50-50 trap?

When you assume that you can develop emotionally satisfying relationships by meeting the other party halfway you’ve fallen for the 50-50 trap. When you expect that you can reach mutual goals by going halfway you’ve fallen for the 50-50 trap. In sum, the 50-50 trap is the erroneous belief that you can reach 100% of your interpersonal goals by each party contributing equally.

How to Avoid the 50-50 Relationship Trap

One of the life lessons that we learn as early as kindergarten is the importance of sharing and compromise. While most young children have a very self-centered perspective, the process of teaching them to  be more considerate of others around them is understandably seen as a key developmental task. The adage goes that having good interpersonal relationships is about 50-50, meeting others “halfway”. Your responsibility is to do your part and expect the other party to reciprocate in kind. Makes perfect sense—until you grow up.

Relationships are a struggle—especially intimate ones. While they can elevate our feelings to mountaintop experiences they can also plummet them into undesirable lows. There are many reasons for the ups and downs in intimate relationships. But, clearly one is what I call the 50-50 trap.