I have been married for almost twenty-seven years. You’d think by now that I’d have this marriage thing down pretty well, especially since I spend so much time writing and talking to others about building a strong marriage. In fairness my wife tells me that I have improved over the years. I’m grateful for that. But, she recently shook my paradigm with a single sentence. She looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “Remember, that I am also a daughter.”
I have one daughter. Her name is Kyrsten. As she goes through her teen years at a pace that just feels too fast, I already lament the day that she will soon bid us farewell. Where has the time gone? I place tremendous value on the importance of fathers spending quality time with our daughters. Fathers may be the single most influential person in the daughter’s self-perception.
In her important book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 secrets every father should know (affiliate link), Dr. Meg Meekers says “Whatever outward impression she gives, her life is centered on discovering what you like in her, and what you want from her. She knows you are smarter than she is. She gives you authority because she needs you to love and adore her. She can’t feel good about herself until she knows that you feel good about her. So you need to use your authority carefully and wisely. Your daughter doesn’t want to see you as an equal. She wants you to be her hero, someone who is wiser and steadier and stronger than she is.” A daughter wants her dad to be her hero.