Posted on Tuesday, August 26, 2014

My Vegetarian Breakthrough: 12 Months, 12 Lessons, 1 Answer (Part 2)

by Dr. Harold

I wanted a breakthrough in my life. But, how desperate was I? This was the question that I faced 12 months ago. While I had been praying for open doors, honestly, they seemed elusive. Yes, I experienced successes on many levels. For that I’m grateful. But, I still felt trapped—unable to spread my wings. I felt I was putting out a lot of effort. But, the returns were somewhat disappointing. I longed to know what would it take to unlock the door? In Part I of “My Vegetarian Breakthrough”, I explained how this desperation led to my resolution to become a vegetarian as a way of consecration and focusing on what God desires for my life. Over the past 12 months, I’ve learned that breakthrough is not a place. It’s an attitude of commitment for personal and platform development.

In Part I, I outlined the six lessons I learned for my own personal development. In Part II, I address the final final six lessons as well as some spiritual insights I’ve gained.

When the fast began I had expectations about what breakthrough would look like. I expected more invitations to speak. I hoped for a windfall of creative ideas to create new products. I looked for new relationships that might be mutually beneficial. After 12 months, some of these desires came to fruition. But, I realized that none of them really define breakthrough for me or anyone else.

I’ll say it again “Breakthrough is an attitude.” So, in a very real way my 12 months as a vegetarian was really about my own attitude adjustment. This adjustment started with three spiritual insights that I have to internalize into my core fabric, not just head knowledge. I’m still working on these. But, I’m trying.

Spiritual Insights for Breakthrough Influence

Trust wholeheartedly that God is working everything together on my behalf even when I can’t see or feel it
God is not impressed (or moved) by many of the things that impress me
The more I do, the less room I leave for God

With these spiritual insights as a backdrop, we can now examine the final six lessons for breakthrough influence. These lessons orient around the unique purpose that I (and you) have on this earth—the reason why we were created. You and I were created for influence. In this sense, we are each leaders.

Posted on Monday, May 19, 2014

5 Habits of Purpose-driven Families

by Dr. Harold

Is your family purpose-driven? In other words, is your family influencing each other and the community in a way that reflects the Creator? There is one way to tell. How well is your family practicing the following five habits that all purpose-driven families pursue.

We commonly think about purpose as individuals. Thanks to Pastor Rick Warren’s ground-breaking book, “Purpose-driven life” many of us began to think afresh about why we are here on earth. We were created to use our gifts and talents to get to know God more intimately, to authentically connect with others, and to help others develop richer relationships with God themselves.

When we think about purpose, we tend to think about it at the level of the individual. That certainly does have merit. However, the question is whether it stops there. Are marriages, families, communities, and churches intended to be purpose-driven as well?

Well, my answer is unequivocally “yes”.

Given my own interest in family life and encouraging folks to turn their hearts towards home, I set out to identify what it means to be a purpose-driven family.

I feel like it is an important notion in a culture where family life continues to face enormous internal and external financial, education, and employment stressors just to name a few.

The result is that marriages are strained. Parent-child relationships are shallow. Siblings are often disconnected and acting out. Elderly parents feel alienated. Even many singles struggle to maintain vital, life-giving relationships.

What is the problem?

The issues are certainly multifaceted. I believe, however, that at the core of the problem is a purpose deficit. Singles, couples, and families are going through the motions of life without a central guiding purpose or core identity.

In a previous post, I’ve discussed the five questions that are important to ask and listen of your family members. Click HERE to check it out. I encourage you to read that post as you consider the remainder of this post. They are complementary propositions.

Asking engaging questions and listening for the response is the fundamental need to move your family towards purpose. That is a starting point.

But, it isn’t just about the start. Purpose-driven families engage in behaviors that become practices that develop into habits. Habits, when developed early enough in one’s life journey, tend to become transgenerational.

As I study family life and observe families, I’ve observed five habits that some families have mastered that allow them to have extraordinary relationships with one another, wield extraordinary influence, and change the trajectory of those around them.

I want to have a purpose-driven family. It is with this desire in mind that I offer these five habits for your consideration.

Posted on Monday, May 12, 2014

Seven Leadership Lessons I Learned from my Mom (A Mother’s Day Tribute)

by Dr. Harold

This week we celebrated mothers. On Sunday, Mother’s from all over the country received well-deserved cards, flowers, candy, and a myriad of gifts to say “Thank You” for the tireless investments that they make in their children. If you’re a mom, I too salute you. And, I could think of few better ways to honor my mom than to reflect on the 7 leadership lessons I learned from my mom, Dorothy Penn Arnold. Happy Mother’s Day, mom!

First, let me be clear. I can never fully understand the breadth and depth of a mother’s love. I’m not sure any man can fully appreciate that. I feel that my mother loves me deeply. And, it reinforces the idea that a mother’s love is relational—as contrasted with a father’s love which tends to be more functional.

In other words, mother’s relational love prioritizes connecting through feelings. Father’s functional love prioritizes connecting through transactions (aka “activities”). Now, this isn’t to say that mother’s don’t show functional love or that father’s don’t demonstrate relational love. But, it speaks to the points of emphasis. And, these emphatic differences are important because together they can provide children with a well-rounded framework for becoming the leader’s that we are destined to be.