The Posture of Influence

Stroll down the aisles of any of the few remaining bookstore and you will see a litany of books on leadership. Some will address the personality of a leader. Others will offer leadership development processes. Many of these works are extremely important to understand how to wield influence in the workplace, ministry, and community settings. Without effective leadership, goals are rarely achieved. We get it. The question, however, remains as to why with all of this focus on leadership development that we end up with some many ineffective organizations.  I would like to suggest these institutions were bereft of an effective leadership posture. Without it,  ethical lapses are a predictable eventuality.

posture of influence

There are plenty of examples  of leadership lapses in corporate, faith-based, and not-for-profit settings. We can certainly blame several factors for the scandals, exploitation, and greed from Enron to Bear Sterns to the United States Congress.

I have written before on the notion of posture in advancing our spiritual purposes on earth. Check that post out HERE. In this post, I talk about how my first visit to a chiropractor enlightened me about the consequences of poor posture.

I have thought a lot about posture since then, particularly as it pertains to leadership and influence.

Like the chiropractor teaching me to improve my posture through proper shoulder and head placement, improved posture in leadership is about proper placement as well. It requires proper placement of one’s ego, self-centeredness, and motivations.

I’d like to suggest three domains where it is vital that we have a leadership posture to have the great influence for which we exist.

LYH37: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What?

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Commitment concept.

Show Agenda

  • Featured Presentation: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/nomatterwhat

During a recent presentation to a group of couples, one of the participants questioned my assertion that we could love our spouse “no matter what”.  Admittedly, it is a bold statement. His concern was that “no matter what” sets a spouse up for abuse. While I agree with the possibility of this extreme, I countered that my concern is that we have watered down this “no matter what” extreme to something more akin to “if I’m not happy”.

If we’re not happy then we have a difficult time believing that God could be. But, what if God isn’t wedded to our personal standard of happiness?

Three Keys to Have a No Matter What Marriage

  1. Keep Facing One Another (no matter what). You are most likely to move in the direction that you are already facing. Frustrated couples often look outside of their marriage for answers to their emotional needs. Then, as difficulties push them, it is only natural that they move towards that which meets their need rather than towards the spouse. Spouses who make a decision to satisfy their emotional needs (especially romantic ones) only within the confines of their marriage satisfy the fundamental requisite of unconditional commitment.
  2. Communicate Honestly (no matter what). Effective communication is the glue that binds marriage. Conveying your needs, wants and feelings with your spouse, even in stressful situations, creates unity. Always remember that the complementary aspect of communicating honestly is listening actively. Active listening relies more on your heart than your ears.
  3. Encourage Each Other (no matter what). Many couples fail to encourage one another either because they do not think it is needed or because of their own insecurities and shortcomings. God, however, placed you and your spouse together to shape each other into His likeness. Encouragement soothes the pain of this molding process. Encouragement provides validation and legitimacy in discouraging and distressing circumstances. Look at how God offers you encouragement in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I doubt there is any clearer model of “no matter what”.

Leave a comment and let me know if you feel “no matter what” is too extreme a position to state in marriage.

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How to Build a Marriage “No Matter What”

During a recent presentation to a group of couples, one of the participants questioned my assertion that we could love our spouse “no matter what”.  Admittedly, it is a bold statement. His concern was that “no matter what” sets a spouse up for abuse. While I agree with the possibility of this extreme, I countered that my concern is that we have watered down this “no matter what” extreme to something more akin to “if I’m not happy”.

Unconditional commitment in marriage

If we’re not happy then we have a difficult time believing that God could be. But, what if God isn’t wedded to our personal standard of happiness?

My belief is that God is more into the development within us when we have an unconditional commitment to him and to our spouse. In fact, God models this notion for us in his unwillingness to love and commit to us less than He does.

Consider two people – a priest who has devoted himself to the Lord for the last fifty years, and an evolutionary biologist who has dedicated himself to proving God does not exist. To which of these people is God most committed?