Four Ways A Husband Becomes a HERO

I have been married for almost twenty-seven years. You’d think by now that I’d have this marriage thing down pretty well, especially since I spend so much time writing and talking to others about building a strong marriage. In fairness my wife tells me that I have improved over the years. I’m grateful for that. But, she recently shook my paradigm with a single sentence. She looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “Remember, that I am also a daughter.”

Being a HERO husband

I have one daughter. Her name is Kyrsten. As she goes through her teen years at a pace that just feels too fast, I already lament the day that she will soon bid us farewell. Where has the time gone? I place tremendous value on the importance of fathers spending quality time with our daughters. Fathers may be the single most influential person in the daughter’s self-perception.

In her important book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 secrets every father should know (affiliate link), Dr. Meg Meekers says “Whatever outward impression she gives, her life is centered on discovering what you like in her, and what you want from her. She knows you are smarter than she is. She gives you authority because she needs you to love and adore her. She can’t feel good about herself until she knows that you feel good about her. So you need to use your authority carefully and wisely. Your daughter doesn’t want to see you as an equal. She wants you to be her hero, someone who is wiser and steadier and stronger than she is.” A daughter wants her dad to be her hero.

LYH55: Why You Need the Voice of a Slave

find your voice concept
Play

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/slavevoice

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”  (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)

And, here are five practices that I learn from Paul in how to develop my voice as a slave.

  • Practice #1: Choose your master
  • Practice #2: Prioritize your purpose over social stigma
  • Practice #3: Be more open-minded
  • Practice #4: Accept that you can’t change everyone
  • Practice #5: Receive your blessings

What constrains your own slave voice? You have to let it go so that ultimately you receive the full blessings intended for you.

Get your free copy of the “10 Proven Steps to Extraordinary Influence” at haroldarnold.com

Check out the blog post HERE to read more about this.

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

The Voice of a Slave

As an African-American, I cringe when I hear the word “slave” as it immediately evokes images of four hundred years of oppression of Black people. I wince when I think of the beatings, lynchings, and inhumane treatment that people of African descent endured. Even after the Emancipation Proclamation, Jim Crow laws made life a living hell for many of my ancestors. Slavery equals oppression and denial of rights. Slavey means injustice and poverty. But, could slavery also be a blessing? When considered in the context of scripture, it is this question that challenges me to consider developing the voice of a slave.

Voice of a Slave

The apostle Paul, once a persecutor of the early Christian church, became one of its staunchest and most fearless advocates after his conversion to Christianity. After his personal encounter with God on the road to Damascus, Paul (formerly named Saul) was enlightened as to God’s displeasure with persecution of Christians. When confronted under the light of God, Paul transformed his life to become one of Christianity’s greatest missionaries. Paul’s two missionary journeys are nothing short of amazing. But, what was the secret to his success? Some might argue that it is his courage and conviction to preach the gospel. I certainly think that that plays a part. But, many courageous and convicted people are not as successful in their endeavors. I believe the answer is found in the book of 1 Corinthians. He learned the voice of a slave. That is the true voice of influence.

Here is Paul’s account of his slave voice:

“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)

Here are a few of the questions that immediately come to my mind as I read Paul’s slave.

Why would Paul make himself a slave to everyone? What’s wrong with him? Won’t he lose his own sense of identity in trying to accommodate everyone else? Does it really take all of that to live for the sake of the gospel?

LYH54: How to Recover Your Marriage Mojo [PODCAST]

Recover your marriage mojo
Play

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

Listen to Clint and Penny Bragg (Inverse Ministries) discuss:

  • Why prayer is central to marital growth
  • Why it is never too late to recover the best for your marriage
  • How they encourage couples to engage in courageous conversations
  • How to Affair-proof your marriage
  • Why all couple’s marriages should be on the mend
  • And, much more…

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

Back to the Future: 50 Things I’d Tell My Younger Self

This year I celebrate the 50th anniversary of my birth. The big 5-0. It feels like a big milestone in my life as I reflect on where I am. As I approach my 50th birthday, I have been reflecting pretty intently on the first forty-nine years of my life. Even with all of the blessings in my life, there are many things that I wish I could tell my younger self because I made a lot of costly mistakes. If I only had it to do over again, some things would be very different. Here are the top 50 things I wish I could now tell my younger self.

50 Things I'd Like to Tell my younger self

I am so tremendously blessed to have a personal relationship with the Lord, an amazing wife who is my biggest fan, two wonderful children in whom I’m proud, a small cadre of friends who enrich my life’s meaning, and a life of accomplishments that affirm who I am. But, personally, there are many things I didn’t do very well.

As a result I developed poor habits from which it has taken me years to recover–though admittedly some continue to be a struggle. We don’t get a chance to rewind and re-do. But, this list does help me stay focused now on what matters most. I think to that classic 1985 movie “Back to the Future” in which Marty McFly (played by Michael J. Fox) time travels in order to change the course of history. If I could do my own back to the future experience here are the 50 things I would tell myself–some of which I believe could have changed the trajectory of my life. Minimally, it would have spared some of the damage that I did to my marriage in my earlier years.