LYH10: Marriage is NOT about love [Podcast]


Show Agenda

  • Featured Presentation: Marriage is NOT about Love

To read the full blog post on this topic, click HERE

Featured Presentation

I spend a lot of time thinking about marriage—my own marriage, other people’s marriages, and cultural attitudes about marriage. I’ve learned many things on this journey. But, I’ve reached one conclusion that may sound odd possibly even startling. Marriage is NOT about love. 

Here’s how the process unfolds…

Two people fall in love. The romantic fervor is intoxicating. They feel awesome—on top of the world. Their bond is inseparable, at least that’s how they feel. They want to experience that forever. At some point, many of these couples decide that they should marry and spend the rest of their lives together to have nonstop access to this fountain of bliss. 

It all sounds so good until…

We look at little farther down the road after the wedding and see that half of these couples are no longer married.

Of the ones that stay married, many fail to thrive. In fact they don’t seem to enjoy each other’s company at all.

What is really happening is that the original type of love that attracted them—dubbed “eros”—has to be replaced with a different type of love that sustains them. What type of love has to fill the vacuum? The greek word is “agape”.  

Check out C.S. Lewis’ book “Four Loves” for a more detailed explanation of the four types of love.

Humanistic psychologist, Carl Rogers, coined the term “unconditional positive regard” to capture what may feel like a more achievable aspect of agape love. 

Three Keys to Marital Commitment

  • Keep Facing One Another
  • Communicate Honestly
  • Encourage Each Other

Inspirational speaker Zig Ziglar says, “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”

What does commitment look like in your marriage? 

Leave a comment and let me know yours.

Ignite Promo: If you’re looking for an opportunity to join with other ministry leaders at a private, intimate 3 day, 2 night retreat that promises to elevate your ministry and your marriage to the next level, visit to learn more