Back to the Future: 50 Things I’d Tell My Younger Self

This year I celebrate the 50th anniversary of my birth. The big 5-0. It feels like a big milestone in my life as I reflect on where I am. As I approach my 50th birthday, I have been reflecting pretty intently on the first forty-nine years of my life. Even with all of the blessings in my life, there are many things that I wish I could tell my younger self because I made a lot of costly mistakes. If I only had it to do over again, some things would be very different. Here are the top 50 things I wish I could now tell my younger self.

I am so tremendously blessed to have a personal relationship with the Lord, an amazing wife who is my biggest fan, two wonderful children in whom I’m proud, a small cadre of friends who enrich my life’s meaning, and a life of accomplishments that affirm who I am. But, personally, there are many things I didn’t do very well.

As a result I developed poor habits from which it has taken me years to recover–though admittedly some continue to be a struggle. We don’t get a chance to rewind and re-do. But, this list does help me stay focused now on what matters most. I think to that classic 1985 movie “Back to the Future” in which Marty McFly (played by Michael J. Fox) time travels in order to change the course of history. If I could do my own back to the future experience here are the 50 things I would tell myself–some of which I believe could have changed the trajectory of my life. Minimally, it would have spared some of the damage that I did to my marriage in my earlier years.

LYH53: Find Your Voice, Write Your Book with Guest Kimanzi Constable [PODCAST]

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

Listen to Kimanzi Constable discuss:

  • Home and family life
  • Self-publishing Success Academy
  • Why we must stop chasing influencers
  • What to look out for when forming business partnerships
  • Why he gained all that weight and sank into so much debt
  • And, much more…

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

Ruth’s Prayer: A Prayer Before (or After) Marrying

Over the past few weeks, I have had a couple of meetings with a group of premarital couples. They are excited about their upcoming marriage—full of hope and promise of what will be.  They sit closely to one another and smile liberally. In some ways their enthusiasm is infectious and a great reminder of the thrill that marriage is intended to incite. Over the past few weeks, I have also met with several crisis couples—some of whom appear on the verge of divorce. They are frazzled about a marriage that feels like bondage—full of criticism and despair. Their verbal and non-verbals communicate disdain and even contempt. In some ways their despair is infectious and a stark reminder of what happens when a marriage drifts apart. What do I say to those premarital couples to guide them away from the path of these married couples in crisis? I want to tell them about Ruth’s prayer.

Ruth’s Prayer

Whether you wed thirty years ago or thirty days ago, there is a promise within your marriage. This is not a human promise of words and good intentions, nor a promise subject to social morays or political persuasion. Sadly, the promises that seal wedding vows are all too frequently broken by “irreconcilable differences.” ”To love and to cherish” devolves into “to compromise and to tolerate” or, in more painful marriages, “to search and destroy”. These earthly promises, however well-intentioned, fluctuate with the prevailing winds of personal feelings and the opinions of others and are therefore, as many of us know from experience, unreliable. This has been the path of these couples in crisis.

But, there is another path–Ruth’s prayer.

LYH52: How to Blog Your Passion with Guest Jonathan Milligan [PODCAST]

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

Listen to Jonathan Milligan discuss:

  • Home life and great wife
  • His new book, 15 Success Traits of Pro Bloggers and his one sheet pyramid
  • Why effective instruction means breaking things down into the most fundamental elements
  • And, much more…

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

4 Brain Hacks for Greater Influence

Everywhere you turn it seems we are bombarded with people seeking to influence us. At home spouses and children vie for our attention. At work, bosses and co-workers try try to persuade us to align with their priorities. Television and radio are abuzz with advertising intended to sway our opinions and purchase decisions. And, online personalities seek to the wield influence on how we experience the world around us. Influence, in my opinion, is the currency of the 21st century. Many strive to be influential for financial gain or strategic power. What most, however, fail to realize is that influence is biological. Once we grasp the neurochemical aspects of influence we can better control our impulses and develop ourselves as leaders who optimally enrich the lives of others.

 

Physiology and psychology are inextricably interwoven fields of study. Most people readily understand that our mental attitude is primarily the lever that determines our goal-directed behavior. You’ve heard the saying, you are what you think. In fact, some even say that our mental attitude determines as much as 75% of what we accomplish—far outweighing the external factors to which we often attribute success. But, even with this understanding pundits overemphasize the what we think  without fully exploring how we think. With a richer understanding of the how, we can better take control of our actions rather than feeling as if our mind controls us. I am convinced that the next echelon of leadership and influence is physiological mastery.

 

If you truly want to become a person of extraordinary influence you have to learn to control the brain—the control center of you body. In my study, there is no better place to begin this examination than the excellent book, The Rise of superman: Decoding the science of ultimate human performance [affiliate link] by Steven Kotler, extolled as one of the world’s leading experts on human performance. In this book Kotler demonstrates, convincingly I might add, how to “ hack” our brain and accomplish extraordinary feats. The term “hack” simply refers to conscious actions that can be taken to trigger subconscious and physiological response. Kotler demonstrates how the human ability to accomplish extraordinary feats is a result of what is now called “flow”.

 

Through his work through the Flow Genome Project and the availability of neurological imaging technology, Kotler and his colleagues have been able to demonstrate flow as an optimal state of consciousness, a peak state where we both feel our best and perform our best. As Kotler continues, “In flow, we are so focused on the task at hand that everything else falls away. Action and awareness merge. Time flies. Self vanishes. Performance goes through the roof.”

 

Kotler and colleagues “call this experience ‘flow’ because that is the sensation conferred. In flow, every action, each decision, leads effortlessly, fluidly, seamlessly to the next.” While much of the study of flow has revolved around the death-defying acts of extreme and adventure athletes, the Flow Genome Project has worked to demonstrate the applicability of flow in heightening workplace performance and social relationships more broadly.