Category Archives: Marriage

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Is Your Church Losing Your Family?

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How can you raise your children to be among the 40% that have a sustainable Christian faith? Yes, only 40%. How does your marriage thrive among a cacophony of stressors that leave more than 50% of them broken?  The answer to each of these questions for many of us is rooted in one common denominator—the church. But, for many of us the church has lost our family. I can relate.

The statistics are staggering.

Recent research suggests that 60% of Christian children raised in the  church will stray from active faith engagement during early adulthood. Few things are more devastating to a devoted parent than watching their child struggle to translate the faith of their youth to the significant decisions of adulthood. Yet, this is what is happening to epidemic proportions.

For decades, we have seen marriages of churchgoers  fail at the same rate as non-churchgoers. Only about half of them will survive.

Singles—whether parenting, dating, or just trying to find like-minded community—feel isolated in their faith journey—even while many of them sit among thousands in the church pews.

Does it sometimes feel like there is a disconnect between your faith and your personal and family health?

On yesterday I celebrated my birthday. It was my 49th. And, it was absolutely the best birthday that I ever remember having.

I mean EVER! Why?

Because I received this message from a young man who has fought for his marriage and now his family. I’m so proud of him that it nearly brought me to tears. Honestly, I’ve been speechless ever since.

I asked his permission to share this because his story speaks loudly to all of us who work with marriages and families. It’s hard! Sometimes, it’s thankless. But, your work transforms generations. Keep doing it with excellence. You will never know your impact. But, they will.

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3 Steps to Your Miracle?

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I believe in miracles. And, right now, I need one.

Have you ever been to that point where you need divine intervention? I mean you’ve exhausted your own efforts. You’ve listened to the suggestions of friends and family seemingly to no avail.

The connections that you hoped would materialize didn’t happen.

The job for which you seemed perfectly qualified went to someone else.

Or maybe, the windfall of money that could have turned things around for you just never fell.

The spouse that you hoped would change his/her ways seems even more intent to spiral out of control.

A wayward child has gotten in trouble and you’ve exhausted your resources to intervene.

Where is the miracle God?

It’s agonizing.

Like a boxer cornered against a relentless foe, another hit comes before I can even recover from the last one. Hits to the body. Blows to the head. Jolts to the chin. Unrelenting…

Despite your efforts to stay positive you feel pummeled. Things just won’t seem to go your way. Makes you want to scream or even cry. Well, maybe both.

Why don’t things seem to be going your way? Great doors of opportunity seem to open for others. Why not you?

Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it just seems unfair if I really allowed myself to wallow in self-pity.

Have you, like me, ever cried, “when is it my turn?”