10 Habits for Raising Academically Successful Kids

I enjoy the summer. It is a good time for family outings, more relaxed schedules (relatively speaking), and no homework. As summer winds down and Fall approaches, it’s time to turn our attention to school matters again. It’s fun—full of hustle and bustle. There is the excitement of new school clothes, getting those school supplies, and making sure all the school-assigned summer reading has been completed. And, then its finally here, the first day of school.

I have a routine with my daughter, Kyrsten, now a high school senior. The first day of school is always a picture in front of the house. Yes, that’s her in the picture above. So, yes, it is a fun few days with the feeling of another “new beginning”. But, preparing your children to return to school is more than a new hairstyle, shiny new boots, and a backpack. Too often in our zest to check items off the “Back to school” list we miss the one most important element—attitude. We need our children to return to school with a success mindset. The mindset is the difference between excellence and average. Though it can be difficult with our harried lifestyles and often disinterested kids, every parent has the responsibility to fully invest in the child’s success mindset for school. What grade would you give yourself?

I have two children. I’m proud of them. My kids are very different in personality, extracurricular interests, academic strengths, and study habits. I play around with them a lot—acting silly. But, they both know when it comes to education I’m a dictator. They think I’m crazy. They’re right. But, the right kind of craziness pays dividends. 

My son, Quilan, is now a 3rd year graduate student at Ohio State University. During secondary school years, my son was the athlete with a penchant for science and math. He was selected by Concerned Black Men as their Student of the Year during his senior year. He graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA and a full merit-based scholarship to Penn State University. Now he is on a graduate assistantship at Ohio State University that pays his tuition and gives him a monthly stipend.

My daughter, Kyrsten, is artistic (writing, photography) with a more liberal arts bent. She has a 4.1 GPA. She’s ranked in the top 11% of her class in a highly competitive class in a Philadelphia suburban high school. With two years of high school left, she has already been captain of the dance team and active in several other extracurricular clubs. She’s been selected twice to represent the Philadelphia chapter for National Black MBA Leader’s of Tomorrow business case competitions held in Boston and Houston. She has already identified her preferred college (Bentley University) and has been cultivating a relationship with the admissions representative. She will get a full academic scholarship somewhere (hopefully Bentley).

I give you this background on my kids to make a single point—academic excellence is a priority in our home. My wife and I have worked since they started elementary school to instill a success mindset in our children—particularly as it applies to school performance.

So, as we start another school year, I encourage all parents to reinforce these 10 habits into your own home. I believe that most of these habits are important for all homes. But, they are particularly important for those parents who have college aspirations for their children.

LYH23: Elevate Your Life with a Smarter Yes [Podcast]

Resources Mentioned In this Episode:

Featured Presentation: Elevating Your Life With a Smarter Yes

Click HERE to find the full blog post on this topic.

When presented with a decision, we often fall into the trap of thinking that our only option is to say “Yes” or “No”.

Saying “no” often feels like we are closing a door of opportunity or making us feel like we aren’t a team player.

Saying “yes” often burdens us with additional responsibilities for which we don’t have an answer.

For many situations, the better choice is to give a “smarter yes”.

What is a “smarter yes”?

A “smart yes” is an engaging and helpful response to one’s core problem or question.  Rather than the dismissiveness often implied with a “No” or the obligation connoted by a “Yes” response, a “smart yes” does four things:

  • Prioritizes engagement (says that this relationship matters to me)
  • Seeks understanding (listens for the core problem or need)
  • Takes ownership (seeks to be solution-oriented)
  • Offers options (leverages resources to give viable direction)

Click HERE to see some practical examples of using a “smarter yes” at work and at home.

When presented with a question or concern, (rather than simply saying “yes” or “no”) here are three tips on how to take your life to the next level with a “smarter yes”

  • Listen carefully to discern the fundamental problem that is behind the question (what does this person need?) – remember that the need may be psychological and/or physical
  • Look for effective solutions that empower the person
  • List 2-3 options, if at all possible (while identifying which one you recommend and why)

Leave a comment and give me some examples of how you have successfully used the “smarter yes” in your own journey. What makes it difficult?

Click HERE to subscribe to this Podcast in iTunes. Also, I’d really appreciate if you would leave a rating and/or review on iTunes. That will help me tremendously.

How To Elevate Your Life with a “Smarter Yes”

We live in a noisy world. Everywhere you turn there it is. Noise vying for your attention. Noise at home as the spouse and children place demands on you. Noise at work as the co-workers and supervisors push you to the brink. Noise at church as ministry commitments progressively encroach on your discretionary time. You want to be great at home, work, church, and in your community commitments. But, it feels overwhelming. You thought it was just going to be for a season. But, one season just rolls into another one. Now, you’re burning out physically and emotionally. You feel depleted—not sure how much longer you can keep going. People think you’re superhuman. But, you know you need better boundaries. It’s hard though because it’s hard to say ‘No’ out of a visceral fear of what might be lost. Your answer may simply lie in learning a smarter yes.

The noise is a direct outgrowth of our busyness. Busyness has been, in fact, the status symbol of the 21st century—particularly among the baby boom generation. We wear it like a badge of honor. We behave as if the person with the busiest calendar must be the most important—the most valued. My calendar is fuller than yours—with each engagement feeling like an affirmation to our ego or bank account.

You can see it even in our standard greetings as we add ‘…just crazy busy’ to whatever status we report. Despite the fatigue we may feel physically, our minds tell us that to be busy is to be needed and important. We feel like our life is counting for something. So, we live in this ironic conundrum—pursuing busyness while seeking shelter from the noise.

Yes, I’m guilty!

My Vegetarian Breakthrough: 12 Months, 12 Lessons, 1 Answer (Part 2)

I wanted a breakthrough in my life. But, how desperate was I? This was the question that I faced 12 months ago. While I had been praying for open doors, honestly, they seemed elusive. Yes, I experienced successes on many levels. For that I’m grateful. But, I still felt  trapped—unable to spread my wings. I felt I was putting out a lot of effort. But, the returns were somewhat disappointing. I longed to know what would it take to unlock the door? In Part I of “My Vegetarian Breakthrough”, I explained how this desperation led to my resolution to become a vegetarian as a way of consecration and focusing on what God desires for my life. Over the past 12 months, I’ve learned that breakthrough is not a place. It’s an attitude of commitment for personal and platform development.

In Part I, I outlined the six lessons I learned for my own personal development. In Part II, I address the final final six lessons as well as some spiritual insights I’ve gained.

When the fast began I had expectations about what breakthrough would look like. I expected more invitations to speak. I hoped for a windfall of creative ideas to create new products. I looked for new relationships that might be mutually beneficial. After 12 months, some of these desires came to fruition. But, I realized that none of them really define breakthrough for me or anyone else.

I’ll say it again “Breakthrough is an attitude.” So, in a very real way my 12 months as a vegetarian was really about my own attitude adjustment. This adjustment started with three spiritual insights that I have to internalize into my core fabric, not just head knowledge. I’m still working on these. But, I’m trying.

Spiritual Insights for Breakthrough Influence

  • Trust wholeheartedly that God is working everything together on my behalf even when I can’t see or feel it
  • God is not impressed (or moved) by many of the things that impress me
  • The more I do, the less room I leave for God

With these spiritual insights as a backdrop, we can now examine the final six lessons for breakthrough influence. These lessons orient around the unique purpose that I (and you) have on this earth—the reason why we were created.  You and I were created for influence. In this sense, we are each leaders.

LYH20: Three Ways to Celebrate Blended Families

Show Agenda

Featured Presentation

Click HERE to read the full blog post.