Tag Archives: marriage tips

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LYH96: How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

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  • Featured Presentation: How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

Get your free copy of the 10 Proven Steps to Extraordinary Influence at haroldarnold.com

Faith in Focus: Salt and Light

(2 Thessalonians 3:11-13)
“We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.”

Featured Presentation:How to Keep Your Marriage in MOTION

All marriages are in MOTION. Each couple determines which of four types of motion for their marriage and we use a boating metaphor to explain each.

  • Crazy Growth – You are Sailing as a couple. You are in sync and growing. Communication and decision-making are good most of the time. Love feels easy.
  • Slow Growth – You are Rowing as a couple. Things are positive and moving forward. But, it takes deliberate work to make it happen. Things feel good but they don’t feel easy.
  • Slow Decline – You are Drifting as a couple. You feel like you are married living single much of the time. There is a lack of deliberate attention to becoming better as a couple. Things aren’t horrible but you feel like you are pulling away from each other. Intimacy is strained.
  • Crazy Decline – You are Sinking as a couple. Your marriage is on the way to emotional and/or physical separation. Very little, if anything, is going well. Everything feels strained.
 Achieving and maintaining Crazy Growth requires that you focus on six areas as a couple.
  • M – MOTIVE
  • O – OBSTACLES
  • T – TOGETHERNESS
  • I – INTIMACY
  • O – Others
  • N – NOW

Feel free to leave me a voicemail message with any questions or concerns by going to HaroldArnold.com and clicking “Send Voicemail” on the right side of the screen.

Get your FREE copy of the 10 Proven Steps to Extraordinary Influence at haroldarnold.com

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

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LYH45: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

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Married on Purpose

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  • Featured Presentation: 7 Signs to Know that You’re Married on Purpose

Featured Presentation

You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/marriedonpurpose

Are you married on purpose?

It isn’t just about raising children well, accumulating material things, or even feeling happy. These are all aspects of being married. But, they aren’t the ultimate WHY God brought you and your spouse together.

In my work with couples and in my own marriage of more than twenty-six years, I have discovered seven signs that suggest your marriage is purposeful.

 

Seven Signs of a Purposeful Marriage

  1. Sign #1: Being married on purpose is an act of grace
  2. Sign #2: Being married on purpose is to tolerate the rationale and serve the relational
  3. Sign #3: Being married on purpose is to cultivate what God planted in your spouse
  4. Sign #4: Being married on purpose is to look inwardly and respond outwardly
  5. Sign #5: Being married on purpose is to unite your passions as a kingdom offering
  6. Sign #6: Being married on purpose is to accept that material things will never give your marriage meaning
  7. Sign # 7: Being married on purpose is to prioritize intimacy as an act of worship

I wish you God’s blessings as you embark upon demonstrating these signs in your own marriage. Leave me a comment and let me know which one resonates most for you personally.

What is easy and hard in being married on purpose?

Check out the blog post HERE to read more about this.

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

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How to Know if You’re Married on Purpose

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Are you married on purpose?

You may think of your children, having imagined finding your purpose in raising kids well as invested, partnered parents.

For some, purpose conjures images of artifacts — the diamond ring, the house, the hotel receipt from the 15th anniversary trip to Hawaii — that in our culture are indicators of marital success.

Some respond to the purpose question according to the level of emotional and sexual satisfaction they feel, at a given moment.

For all their merit, each of these falls short of the beauty found in purpose.

Being married on purpose is a daily decision to live in partnership and covenant. God has anointed your marriage to “good works” that are unique to your partnership. In my work with couples and in my own marriage of more than twenty-six years, I have discovered seven signs that suggest your marriage is purposeful. 

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LYH37: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What?

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  • Featured Presentation: How to Build a Marriage No Matter What

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You can find the full blog post on this topic at haroldarnold.com/nomatterwhat

During a recent presentation to a group of couples, one of the participants questioned my assertion that we could love our spouse “no matter what”.  Admittedly, it is a bold statement. His concern was that “no matter what” sets a spouse up for abuse. While I agree with the possibility of this extreme, I countered that my concern is that we have watered down this “no matter what” extreme to something more akin to “if I’m not happy”.

If we’re not happy then we have a difficult time believing that God could be. But, what if God isn’t wedded to our personal standard of happiness?

Three Keys to Have a No Matter What Marriage

  1. Keep Facing One Another (no matter what). You are most likely to move in the direction that you are already facing. Frustrated couples often look outside of their marriage for answers to their emotional needs. Then, as difficulties push them, it is only natural that they move towards that which meets their need rather than towards the spouse. Spouses who make a decision to satisfy their emotional needs (especially romantic ones) only within the confines of their marriage satisfy the fundamental requisite of unconditional commitment.
  2. Communicate Honestly (no matter what). Effective communication is the glue that binds marriage. Conveying your needs, wants and feelings with your spouse, even in stressful situations, creates unity. Always remember that the complementary aspect of communicating honestly is listening actively. Active listening relies more on your heart than your ears.
  3. Encourage Each Other (no matter what). Many couples fail to encourage one another either because they do not think it is needed or because of their own insecurities and shortcomings. God, however, placed you and your spouse together to shape each other into His likeness. Encouragement soothes the pain of this molding process. Encouragement provides validation and legitimacy in discouraging and distressing circumstances. Look at how God offers you encouragement in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I doubt there is any clearer model of “no matter what”.

Leave a comment and let me know if you feel “no matter what” is too extreme a position to state in marriage.

Please do me a huge favor and click HERE to go to iTunes and leave me a rating and review. It will only take 2 minutes of your time. And, it means so much to me. And, just for you, I’ll give you a shout out on the next show.

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How to Build a Marriage “No Matter What”

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During a recent presentation to a group of couples, one of the participants questioned my assertion that we could love our spouse “no matter what”.  Admittedly, it is a bold statement. His concern was that “no matter what” sets a spouse up for abuse. While I agree with the possibility of this extreme, I countered that my concern is that we have watered down this “no matter what” extreme to something more akin to “if I’m not happy”.

If we’re not happy then we have a difficult time believing that God could be. But, what if God isn’t wedded to our personal standard of happiness?

My belief is that God is more into the development within us when we have an unconditional commitment to him and to our spouse. In fact, God models this notion for us in his unwillingness to love and commit to us less than He does.

Consider two people – a priest who has devoted himself to the Lord for the last fifty years, and an evolutionary biologist who has dedicated himself to proving God does not exist. To which of these people is God most committed?