Author Archives

Dr. Harold

Posted on

Top Three Reasons I Stay Married

by

In the spring of 2010, urban playwright Tyler Perry, released his new movie Why did I get married too, the sequel to his tremendously successful 2007 comedy-drama, Why did I get married?. Perry’s movie challenges me to ask myself not just why I got married but also why I stay married.

For some of us Why did I get married? brought comic relief to serious marital stressors that are often at the center of our marital conflict – helping us to laugh at ourselves.

But, for others the film is a darker reminder of betrayal, loneliness, and other abuses that have left marital scars – often beyond repair.

This movie caused many of us to think personally about our own marriage. Why did I get married?

Posted on

Five Ways Successful Christian Leaders Give

by

You probably never thought about how a visit to Chick-Fil-A can teach you a valuable leadership lesson on giving. But, that’s just what happened to me last weekend.

Last weekend on a blustery early Spring day, I had the opportunity to visit my local Chick-Fil-A restaurant in Langhorne, PA and meet its owner/operator,  Dave Heffernan. As employees and patrons scurried around serving and being served, we found a empty booth in the front of the restaurant near the registers. We were so thankful to Dave both for being very gracious with his time (his willingness to take time out of his busy Saturday afternoon to talk with us about his highly successful restaurant) and also his candor.

In talking with him, I learned that his  Chick-Fil-A restaurant is the top-performing Chick-Fil-A in this entire region. Pretty impressive, right?

So, as a student of “leadership”, I really wanted to understand what  were the keys to his leadership success. I even asked him how much of his success was based on his location versus his own leadership prowess. However, even before he answered this question I could tell that his authenticity and enthusiasm had to be important ingredients, as he oozed of them both.

As Dave shared a number of interesting facets of the business, it quickly became evident to me that his personal success and the performance of this restaurant reflect a culture of giving—just as he was modeling at that very moment in so graciously giving us his valuable time to me (a complete stranger). Though the conversation, however, he shared his own Christian faith and how he feels his faith compels him to generously give both of his time and his money.

Posted on

LYH001: Three Steps to Effectively Lead Your Home [Podcast]

by

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

In this particular episode you will hear:

  • An introduction to myself and why the “Leading You Home” Podcast was created
  • Shout out to Cindi Hall for creating the Podcast music/lyrics
  • Resource Corner: Book: Boomerangs to Arrows by Sharon N. Elliot
  • Spotlight: Felicia Houston of Anointed Wives Ministries (Chicago, IL)
  • Featured Presentation: “Three Steps to Effectively Lead Your Home”

Posted on

Five Questions to Transform Your Home

by

What is the secret to a great marriage or a happy home? These are the questions that I am often asked as I work with families. People want an easy answer. I believe it only takes five questions to transform your home.

When you ask these families in what areas they most struggle, you usually hear fairly predictable responses. The most common response you initially probably doesn’t surprise you. “We have a communication problem” is by far the culprit of home dysfunction. But, when you did deeper you begin to see that this “communication problem” is really about more pronounced cracks in the relational foundation of the home.

Sometimes you can see that financial pressures are placing enormous strain on the family.

In other homes, you discern how busy schedules and lack of quality time together is creating emotional distance.

Still other homes are stymied by a self-centeredness that makes intimacy feel disingenuous or maybe even unattainable.

Of course, many homes are battered by more than one of these pressures at the same time—often resulting in the communication failures between spouses, dating couples, parent-child interaction, and other important relationships.

So, what is the secret to overcoming these communication challenges and positively transforming the atmosphere in your home?

It can be summed up in a single phrase—“Listen More”.

Posted on

Five Ways the Road Warrior Can Protect the Family

by

I travel a lot. Some may say “too much”. Much of my travel is for my day job doing pharmaceutical market research. I fly around the country interviewing healthcare professionals and patients on behalf of my clients. I also travel for what I call my “passion portfolio”. This entails speaking for Marriage ROCKS workshops or other leadership and family seminars  and conferences.

While both my wife, Dalia and I conduct many of our relationship workshops together, for most of my travel I am on the road alone.

In some ways I like to travel. I like visiting new cities, meeting new people, and eating at different restaurants. And, what traveler doesn’t like to see those frequent flier miles and free hotel nights accrue as your Elite Status is secured.

But, in other ways travel, particularly the work-related travel, can be quite mundane as you frequent the same cities repeatedly, become annoyed with flight delays and cancellations, hotel gaffes, and just generally losing track of important details happening with your family—especially if you have school-age children or grandchildren.

The road is also filled with a number of distractions and even temptations that spell danger for the unsuspecting traveler. USA Today published a a very insightful article on the perils of work-related travel on marital fidelity, “Infidelity is in the air for road warriors”. The message is clear that many feel a sense of entitlement or maybe lowered inhibitions regarding extra-marital romance when on the road. In fact, salespeople call it the the 1,000-mile rule. This “rule” noted in the USA Today article suggests that you “play by the rules and don’t fool around when you’re within 1,00 miles of your home. But, beyond this radius, do what you want.”

Amazingly, there are even websites devoted to providing clandestine accommodations for those seeking secrecy. For example, ABC News reveals the top hotels  for having an affair. Really?