Seven Leadership Lessons I Learned from my Mom (A Mother’s Day Tribute)

This week we celebrated mothers. On Sunday, Mother’s from all over the country received well-deserved cards, flowers, candy, and a myriad of gifts to say “Thank You” for the tireless investments that they make in their children. If you’re a mom, I too salute you. And, I could think of few better ways to honor my mom than to reflect on the 7 leadership lessons I learned from my mom, Dorothy Penn Arnold. Happy Mother’s Day, mom!

First, let me be clear. I can never fully understand the breadth and depth of a mother’s love. I’m not sure any man can fully appreciate that. I feel that my mother loves me deeply. And, it reinforces the idea that a mother’s love is relational—as contrasted with a father’s love which tends to be more functional.

In other words, mother’s relational love prioritizes connecting through feelings. Father’s functional love prioritizes connecting through transactions (aka “activities”). Now, this isn’t to say that mother’s don’t show functional love or that father’s don’t demonstrate relational love. But, it speaks to the points of emphasis. And, these emphatic differences are important because together they can provide children with a well-rounded framework for becoming the leader’s that we are destined to be.

LYH005: 10 Reasons Why I’m Glad I Was a Virgin When I Married [Podcast]

Show Agenda

  • My Week in Review
  • Spotlight: Chris Richardson, Real Talk with Chris Richardson (Washington DC)
  • Featured Presentation: 10 Reasons I’m Glad I was a Virgin when I Married

10 Reasons I’m Glad I was a Virgin When I Married

When should you start having sex? I was reading through a question posed by a 16 year old young lady. Here is what she asked this online community of relative strangers, “My friend is wondering what other people think. She is 16 and so am I. I think that its fine around the age of 16 if you use protection. She thinks that its fine when ever.”

She titled her post “What age should you start having sex?

I have a 16 year old daughter myself and imagined that these people were responding to my daughter. That was pretty disturbing to me from the young lady who says she started at 13 and has loved it ever since to another 16 year old who confirmed that yes 16 is indeed the perfect age.

While there were a few cautionary responses to this young lady, I began to wonder to myself what would I tell this young lady myself. In fact, I personalized it more. What would I tell both my 16 year old daughter and my 22 year old son?

Rather than giving them a specific age or situation (e.g., “when you find the right person”), I would tell them why I remained a virgin until I got married. Yes, despite biological urges, social pressures, and even some “close calls” on my wedding night at the age of 22 I had my first sexual experience. I’m proud of that.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I mentioned some “close calls”. I wasn’t an angel. Honestly, there were some heavy petting episodes that I am not particularly proud of. But, there was something in my mind that would not allow me to “go all the way” to consummate the deal. Based on my religious convictions, I just didn’t think I could live with myself if I just let go.

Why did I wait? Some might call it fear. Others might say avoiding shame or guilt. I’m sure all of these are true at some level. But, looking back, I really do think God was protecting me in some ways. I didn’t want God or my family to be disappointed in me. I didn’t want to give away something that I could never undo. That is about as sophisticated as my thinking was during those years.

Now with many more years of experiences and knowledge, I can better articulate (even making a Top 10 list) why I am so glad that I was a virgin when I married. And, most of these same reasons explain why I have stayed and expect to remain faithful to my wife alone.

LYH004: 5 Steps to Developing a Family Mission [Podcast]

Show Agenda

  • Resource Corner: Way of Life App
  • Spotlight: Carlos & Katherine Greene, The Goal Planner, LLC (Atlanta, GA)
  • Featured Presentation: 5-step Guide to developing your Family Mission Statement
  • Show notes at haroldarnold.com/LYH004

A 5-Step Guide to Developing Your Own Family Mission Statement

Why are you here on earth? Depending on your age, you’ve probably wondered that before. And, it makes sense for each of us as individuals to reflect on our purpose or as my friend Dr. Daniel Lee says to “Do What You’re Built For”.

If you haven’t asked yourself that question then I suggest that you do spend some time thinking about it. It is important to have a sense of who you are as a person and how you will leave the earth a better place than you found it. I honestly believe that this is what we are on earth for.

I advocate that each of us adopt this purpose-focused lens to  assess your meaningful contribution to your community (both potential and accomplished).

For example, my personal mission statement is to “transform family life through healthy relationship building”. One can readily see from my mission that family is the focus,  transformation is the goal, and relationship building is the process to get you there.

When you read my blog posts at HaroldArnold.com or listen to my “Leading You Home” podcast or read my book, Marriage ROCKS for Christian Couples or hear me speak on leadership you can readily see that everything points back to my mission statement.  In a real sense my mission statement is a guidepost that keeps me  setting goals and strategies that move me in the direction that I am “built for”.

Even if you haven’t personally put your mission statement on paper, most of us see the value of having one. But, what about the importance of a mission statement for your family.

If you accept the importance of our individual mission statements then what happens when you think about your entire family—a collection of personalities, talents, and interests. A mission statement is just as important for your family as it is for you. But, few families ever go through the process of figuring it out.